Change…

images

Sweet November…where has the time gone? 2017 will soon be a faint memory. Ups and downs, growth and development. People have walked in. People have walked out. The only constant is change. There have been natural disasters and human demise surrounding us on the daily. It’s been almost a year, that fateful day on November 8, 2016…No need to linger nor question why. But the question remains, where has the time gone?

One thing is for sure, change is a coming. As we enter a new season broaching upon the winter months, keep your faith with your head held high. Change is a coming…no need to question why.

When times get tough as they inevitably will, remain true to yourself. Show people the REAL you. Unapologetically you. They may love you. They may hate you. It makes no difference…simply be true to self. Forever and for always.

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” Ecclesiastes 3:1

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisement

Now is the Time…

To forgive…now is as good of a time as any. We have all been hurt, have had our heartbroken (and I do not only mean by a significant other ~ it’s much deeper!) The hurt and sorrow are real, but why hold on to it? The only person you are really hurting is yourself.

So, let it go…FOrgive, FORgive, FORGIVE! You are not doing it for them, you’re doing it for you & you deserve it! Love yourself enough to let go of the pain. It begins in your heart, forgiveness is love!

Let 2017, be your year for dignity, success, love and forgiveness!

“Forgiveness doesn’t excuse their behavior. Forgiveness prevents their behavior from destroying your heart” ~ Unknown

 

Unreal…

So, it has finally come and gone. The day we have all been anxiously awaiting, highly anticipating and praying to come to an end. There has to be a reason beyond our scope of knowledge as to why and how it turned out as it did.

The time is now for us to come together…more than ever to unite. We cannot give in to the hatred and despair. Let’s pull each other up from our bootstraps, hang on tight because it is going to be a bumpy ride.

Make no mistake, we live in a great place but it is not without issues ~ MAJOR ISSUES. We must remain prayerful, hopeful, loving and caring. It is unreal but IT is our reality for only a moment in time.  

Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers all wrongs” ~ Proverbs 10:12

May God Bless America!

 

 

 

Le Reveur ~ The Dreamer

There comes a time in a women’s life when priorities shift and an imaginary switch goes off in your brain. It’s like you wake up one day and you wonder where did all the time go? Is there still enough time to do everything you wanted? You know, simple things like get married, have children, watch your babies grow up and experience the trials and tribulations of life. Trying your hardest to keep them safe and protected but not sheltered.

But for whatever reason there is no marriage. No babies to love. No house with a family to come home to. And while you recognize the grass is not always greener on the other side, you also realize how nice it would be to step on that grass…if only for a moment.

You know at some point you start to reflect and wonder how’d I get here? How did my life choices take me to where I am today? You try desperately not to get pregnant in your 20’s, and in your 30’s you are more open to it but still focusing on your career all the while, contemplating the possibility of marriage and family. But it just doesn’t pan out that way, at least not for you. Now well into your 40’s and still no marriage, no kids and ALL your friend’s kids are teenagers and in some instances, they are grown, married and considering starting a family of their own. So, you sit back and ask yourself…How did I get here?

Surely there were some great guys in your life. You were even proposed to but not by the right person. So, it all comes back to choices and priorities. Never wanting to be a single mother or a desperate woman rushing into something because you yearned for a baby (not that there is anything wrong with either of those decisions, just not what you wanted for yourself.)

You just think …. you’ll always have the option to have a family. BUT then things change. Your body starts to do weird things. And you realize the hope is no more. It’s not that you don’t want it, it may be that you just can’t at this stage in the game. Who wants to be the mother that is constantly confused as the grandmother?  But also, your selection of men is just NOT what it used to be. Many are married and well that’s just taboo, some have no desire to be in a serious relationship, while others just don’t meet your standards.

Sure, it would have been easy to just get pregnant, but what if you made calculated choices not to have kids with just anyone and what you really wanted was to have that family unit ~ consisting of father, mother, kids all in one household. Is that so wrong?

So, you continue to reflect and ask yourself more questions. Did I party too much in my 20’s? Focus too much on my career in my 30’s? Now in your late 40’s ~ wanting nothing more than a family. You think there will ALWAYS be time for that…but really? Is there? One day you wake up and POOF it’s a little late.

But life is a journey. Remain faithful and all that is meant for you will be for you!

“Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:7

Always remember ~ “Family is everything!”

Tolerance & Acceptance

AA_Tattoo_HeartI was recently at a local grocery store and watched a mother struggling with her young son. He was having a straight up melt down in the 90+ degree weather. I sat back and watched several people walk by and gawk at her with contempt in their eyes and a sense of judgement.

It was clear to me, the young boy had a form of autism and was simply having a moment. And was in much need of a break as did his mom. So I approached her and asked if I could help. She accepted my offer and as I sat on the ground with him, more people walked by with a look of judgement. He eventually let me hold his hand as we walked into the store and picked up some grapes and a cupcake.

His mom was so gracious and thankful. She acknowledged how difficult it was and that her son was on the low end of the spectrum with autism. I was proud and thankful she accepted my assistance. But at the same time I was saddened by how many people walked by and looked as if they were simply disgusted.

As a society we have to become more acceptable of people and celebrate all of our differences.

“The first step towards change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.”                                             ~ Nathaniel Branden

 

Of Course…

All Lives Matter.

No-one is discounting that fact. However, at the moment, Black lives are in jeopardy and have been for a long time. More specifically black men…Our Black men have been fighting this fight for a long time with the support of a few. It’s hard to understand why so many people are up in arms about supporting your fellow human beings who have been suffering at the hands of many. Society has stood by and watched black men be murdered, persecuted and feared for no other reason than the color of their skin.

This has to stop. It’s not ok…Recently, someone looked me in my eyes and told me she did not like groups of people because of what she has seen in the media…That is not ok. When do we start to care about people as individuals and not as a mass based on what we see on TV. When do we start to pay attention to what is going on around us and not simply focus on our little world…living in a little bubble.

It’s time to come together, stop fearing the unknown. Accept people for who they are and not what has been portrayed on television. And I’m not talking just about Black men, this holds true for Muslims, Hispanics and any other race or ethnicity that is different from you. We are all people who have been created equal. It’s time everyone started to act like it…So yes, All Lives Matter…But at the moment it’s time to focus on Black Lives…Our Black Men, they do matter!

“When you’re accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.”  ~Afro Punk

 

You Are Perfect…

Just as You Are!

We are all different and special in a unique way. I know, this is nothing new but it’s always nice to get a reminder, because it’s often easy to forget. As we grow, mature, live life, experience pain and heartache it’s easy to get lost and fail to remember ~ “You Are Perfect…Just as You Are!”

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve had some intriguing conversations with remarkable people and one thing we all have in common is life just didn’t turn out like we expected. Not that it’s been bad; just not what we expected in our 30’s, 40’s and 50’s.

It’s imperative to be mindful of the important things in life and I can tell you, you will not find your peace in a career or solely in what you do for a living. What you do DOES NOT define your worth. But how you treat people and the way you make them feel, your family, love for God…these are the things that are important and make you Perfect…Just as You Are!

Your crooked smile and corky ways are what make you special. You’re not always going to be happy and easy going but you being you is a blessing. And how you treat people on the daily and the way you touch people’s lives are what’s important.

Life is really simple. Focus on what is important, you know God, Family, Friends, Relationships, Giving Back…just being a blessing to others. Whatever you have is enough and makes you Perfect…Just as You Are!

So the next time you’re feeling low and getting down on yourself, remember no-one can take away what’s for you and you are exactly where you need to be. Find your blessings in being a blessing. Give without expectations and love without conviction.

As the late great Muhammad Ali said, “Live everyday as if it is your last because someday you’re going to be right.”

In loving memory of Richard Kelly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What’s Your Next Move?

At some point in life, most of us have struggled with the crossroad of “What’s my next step?” Or “Where do I go from here?” Facing this dilemma is scary and agonizing. The thought of the unknown makes us feel vulnerable, but that is precisely when you need to dig deep in your soul and put in the hard work at finding your pathway.

When you reach this impasse in your life now is the time to focus on what you can do and not give in to the obstacles standing in your way. Now is the time to flex your creative muscles and keep striving for what you want even after you have been beaten down. Now is the time to tap into your power of choice. You can choose to wallow in self-pity or take responsibility and keep moving forward. This is the perfect opportunity to wake up your conscious mind and replace negative thoughts with positive ones.

Enter the next phase of your journey with these three “E’s: Energy, Excitement and Endurance.

  1. Energy: Find the energy to take the time and figure out what you really want to do with your life.
  2. Excitement: Embrace the change and the excitement of the unknown. Take action and tap into your competitive side making it fun.
  3. Endurance: Exercise is a great release to keep pushing forward when all you want to do is give up.

So the next time you’re faced with this dilemma ~ stay prayerful, worry less, take calculated risks and develop a going forward mindset.

If you can believe it, the mind can achieve it” ~ Ronnie Lott

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Emotional Intelligence and Building Relationships

Emotional Intelligence (EI) is essential in building and maintaining relationships. It goes without saying that hard skills are needed to be effective at any job but it is often your soft-skills that create longevity and the evolution into leadership roles.

What is EI? Well basically it’s the ability to recognize, understand and manage your own emotions AND recognize, understand and influence the emotions in others. Understanding the emotional condition of human interactions can help minimize misunderstandings and can help build more connected teams.

EI is important because it helps guide you when you find yourself in high pressure situations. Companies who engage employees with EI have staff who are motivated, productive, efficient and in alignment with the company goals and values. The employees are also effective, happy, confident, likeable and rewarded.

So remember, your soft skills are very important in your success but also underestimated. Tap into your emotional intelligence and when you learn to work with emotions, you learn to work with everybody.

To learn more about Emotional Intelligence, go to: http://www.danielgoleman.info/

“Leadership is not domination, but the art of persuading people to work towards a common goal.” ~ Daniel Goleman

“Life is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.”  ~ Daniel Goleman

Planting Seeds to Build Your Brand

New seasons bring fresh ideas and fresh starts…keeping your mind open to life’s possibilities and unlocking your fears & inhibitions to reach new heights. Plant those seeds in building your brand and growing your business.

Building your brand is a lot like farming ~ it’s a nurturing process that creates the foundation. Spring is the time for revitalization therefore now is the logical time to revisit making connections and building your personal and professional brand.

Branding is one of the largest factors in growing yourself and your business. It is the pinnacle of your company’s identity, wrapped up and given in a manner that is memorable, natural and alluring to your current and prospective clientele.

Personal branding is equally as important as your company’s brand. The knack to building your individual brand is important. When building your brand you need an identifying image, a distinct message and an authentic voice that is recognizable.

The importance of a personal brand is growing rapidly because now more than ever, we trust people more than companies. Audiences are accustomed to seeing advertising EVERYWHERE. It pops up in our searches, while trolling Twitter, Facebook and Tumblr etc. Now we have mobile billboards and scrolling ads on television shows. We are inundated with advertising and people sense companies are solely interested in sales and often feel violated by invasive advertising tactics. Personal branding opens the door to create a reputation and identity while maintaining trust and interaction.

However you decide to use your personal brand it is important to establish. Consider the following:

  1. Determine your style/area of expertise: What do you want to be known for? Develop a specific niche.
  2. Start writing/publishing: Build your reputation by showing your expertise. Become a trusted source of information.
  3. Build continuity between your online presence: Make sure all of your online profiles (Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, Tumblr etc.) are consistent with your personal brand.
  4. Book speaking engagements and develop case studies: Speaking engagements will help you establish a new audience and demonstrate your expertise. Developing case studies help you tell your story via previous clients and prove your level of expertise instead of simply promising what you can do.
  5. Build your contacts: Yep, in other words network! Many consider networking to be a daunting task but is important in growing your personal brand and business. Network online and in the real world. Interact with people in your industry, connectors and anyone who can help spread the word about your expertise.

It’s important to plant those seeds to reap the benefits. Like a garden it is going to take time, patience and dedication. You must continue to water the seeds in order to nurture your creation and develop your brand.

“To see things in the seed, that is genius.” ~ Lao Tzu